you know that ex that you told yourself over and over again would "never, ever ever ever" (s/o to Chris Tucker) get some of you or your goodies again? but then you're like damn, my p**** and his d*** can't be done for good, can they? but you can't really see yourself giving him any after what he did. but then whatever he did wasn't that bad, right? (you know he was slingin that D if this has ever happened to you *sigh*) so you're going thru all these motions in your head. contemplating if you should hit him up for that last time. you don't wanna make that first move tho...
oh, look! a text from him! and he's saying all the nasty perverted ish you were dying to hear from him once more. he knows just what to say to get you to drop them panties, doesn't he? but anywho, now you can go and get it on and you didn't even have to be the one who seemed pressed. (SMH at the games we play, but whatever...) so you make all of the necessary arrangements to hook up with him. make yourself look real good so you can show him what the hell he's been missing and all of that other good stuff, right? yeah. you get there and everything is just the way you remember it. his kiss, his touch, his... oh yeah... that first stroke feels like heaven, and what comes next makes you feel like you are about to lose your mind. why are you mad at this dude again? you forgot about all of the stupid ish he ever did to you cause none of that matters right here and now. then he does that extra freaky ish that y'all only did now and then. this mofo is showing off! gotdammit! he's the best you've ever had and he's about to remind you of that ish right freakin now. why can't he act right and then you could have this all the time, all over again. never mind that ish, let's get back to business. you definitely don't want to ruin the moment because who knows if and when you'll get this again.
ahhhhhh... at last. yeah.
and now, the aftermath. I should get up and go home, right? but this is my favorite place to sleep (besides my own bed). right up under him like when I used to be his. like I've done a million times before. do I kiss him before I leave? we just had our tongues down each other's throats but somehow a simple good-bye kiss seems so much more intimate than that right now. do I say "I'll call you later."? we both know that's not true. I haven't called him in weeks. he hit me up a couple of weeks ago for drinks and I declined. now that we've done the deed, we're both silent. he speaks first, making small talk. I hate how he's so smooth like that. he's interested and is genuinely listening to everything I say but he won't say how he really feels. I'm dying inside, I want to tell him how much I miss him. I feel like I'm going to burst into tears for no real reason. this thing is killing me right now. but I'm not about to let him know that. we've exchanged updates on our loved ones, work, etc. and now there's nothing left to say. I kiss him on the lips and go back home. I call to let him know that I made it home safely, he cracks a joke about me speeding (the usual), and that's it. silence. again. never thought we'd get to this place. it is what it is...
until the next time he calls and says exactly what I like to hear...
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