baby mommas

my cousin recently noted on twitter that "no one ever plans to be a baby momma". I haven't been able to stop thinking about that statement ever since and so, I'm going in...

I hate the term with a passion but what else can I do but acknowledge the fact that I am someone's baby momma. (I can't stand my baby daddy almost as much as I hate both of these terms, but I'll leave that alone for right now.) anywho, eff the fact that I was young (16) and looking for love in all of the wrong places and got knocked up. eff the fact that he already had kids (he's much older) and that I became one of many baby mommas. and eff the fact that he should've known better seeing as he already had said children that he didn't/doesn't take care of. my issues with my baby daddy are numerous, but in the end, I have two beautiful babies.

I've often wondered where my life would be if I wasn't someone's baby momma. as I've mentioned before, I kinda got it going on for someone my age and with limited education. do u have any idea of all the ways I could be funning it up right now? I could be going on trips with my girlfriends; them broads don't even invite me anymore because I can never go. I could've invested some funds somewhere and watched that baby grow; instead I'm scraping change to make that much-needed trip to the grocery store. I could go to the gym erryday and be tight as ish; nope, my booty jiggles and I have stretch marks. I could be careless/free-as-a-bird with my goodies and give them to whomever I felt like giving them to; uh uh, I'm somebody's momma, remember? I must set good examples at all times. I could be getting white-boy wasted erry weekend, just because. shit, I work hard, I should be able to play hard too; no way, I have to help someone complete that gotdamn science project that we're already running behind on. not to mention football/basketball/cheerleading/soccer/tennis or whatever the hell else has captured their interest this season. man, I could be so fly and buy stuff that wasn't on sale (EVERYTHING I buy has to be on sale or I'm not buying) and when I wanted, not just when I needed something; hell no, that little bit of extra cash is going to something that the kids need or want, maybe some shoes or a coat but probably some new video game or art set or some other shit. but basically, I'd be fly, free and ballin'!!!!

the flipside is that I have friends who are my age or close to it, who don't have kids and while they are allowed to do all of these things that I mentioned above. they don't usually seem so happy to me. they usually have a lot of debt; maybe they forgot that they were actually ballin' on a budget. their significant others aren't usually all that, or really thinking about being committed (which is a HUGE issue to me; please don't waste my time). they're probably still living with their parents; again, ballin' on a budget. they're almost as broke as I am LOL. but overall, there is nothing in their lives that is truly fulfilling. there is no true love in their lives. there usually isn't a whole lot that they are passionate about. I'm not talking about all child-less folks, I'm talking about a select few of my friends whom I've paid close attention to.

so in the end, am I glad to be someone else's baby momma? hell no. I would much rather have a partner and to have gotten some of my goals accomplished before I became someone's Mom. but like I said before, I love those little ones more than myself and more than anyone/anything else that could ever exist. they're the only ones who will always love me unconditionally besides my parents and Jesus. and even my parents get funny from time to time. when my day has been shitty and I get home, they genuinely are happy to see me. who the hell else do I have that effect on? do they get on my nerves or vice versa? all the time do we get over it? almost immediately. there is nothing else in life that gives me as much fulfillment as taking care of them does. nothing else really matters at the end of the day. not money, not n*ggas, not my job. seeing them succeed is the ultimate goal.

oh and shout to all the baby mommas who are doing the damn thing! u know who u are :)