If you've ever had a real convo with me, you should know that I am a HUGE fan of relationships. Romantic, Familial, Friendship, you name it. I often wonder what makes them end, I mainly wonder why mine end. I recently broke things off with someone that I adored. I loved almost everything about him, and the things that I didn't, I looked past them because I wanted him and the relationship (there wasn't anything major, just dumb stuff that he needed to learn LOL). Anyhoo, we had it going on and then *record stops* and I'm dumbfounded, wondering what the hell happened. So it seems that Mr. Almost Perfect finally recognized that he didn't want to be in a relationship, he still wanted to fly solo. That's all well and good but did it really take you over a year and some change to figure this out? According to the words out of his own mouth I was his ace boon koon, he would never let me go and lose the one thing in his life that he KNEW was good for him. He was my bestie and I was his. The connection was super intense from the jump but alas, it wasn't meant to be. One thing I won't do is knowingly share my boo (no matter how serious or not), so I decided to bounce; no need to beat around the bush, it is what it is.
In the past few weeks in the midst of my pity party, I realized that I was becoming one of those weak broads that I always criticize. I decided that I was not going to let it go any further! If that fool couldn't see what he had in me, then that's his loss. I'm not going to sit around and try and figure what's wrong with me. As a matter of fact, there is NOTHING wrong with me! God made me perfectly imperfect! Just like he did everyone else. I have other qualities that weigh out my imperfections, but he couldn't look past mine the way I did his. Don't get me wrong, I know that there is plenty of room for growth but overall I'm a great person. I happen to like myself very much :)
And so my journey begins... I've made the decision that for the next year I will spend time with me (whenever I can, I am a mom afterall) and with the Lord. Seriously, how can I commit to anyone if I can't commit to myself or to Him first? Plus at this point, I don't think that I could handle all the extra foolishness that comes with meeting someone new. Y'all know how it is, and more importantly I refuse to add another one of these dudes to my list. Yeah, THAT list, the secret one that us chicks never talk about LOL. Wish me luck...
No comments:
Post a Comment